The Worst Experience of My Life

     Its Dusty, I breath a noxious cloud of fumes from vehicles everyday, garnished by dust, presented to me by a window and I thought smoking would kill me. Its rickety, its slow, its annoying, filthy, sweaty, obnoxious and every word that I cant even pen down. That bus. Yes the very bus, um that would be overrated, the vehicular piece of crap on wheels that I have been arrested to due to a cruel twist of fate. Well my situation was not like this a month ago. I had a fine car. Two actually. An automatic and a manual that I used to alternate with, at every whim of my will and fancy. My use of public transport was limited to shared autos and public buses for 1 year, and that too because i submitted to  taste the sweet freedom of bunking with my friends,a couple of years ago. My ass has definitely aged, seen and been to better places. I kid you not. So all the evil had happened when, about three months ago when I was driving on an expressway and I took a turn too early and my car hit another car behind me. Well I did manage to make a nasty dent but that didn't affect me. My dad was kind enough to let go. I had always been careful since then. How to prevent a problem? Avoid it. I've decided never to drive on an expressway again. There all was jolly good, nice as mint. But all good things are mortal. Atleast in my life, I guess.
     A month later I was driving to go to a place called Vertigo and the stupid google maps had lead me through a labyrinth of slums which seemed like a portal to a third world country. So as I was driving and theres this big ditch on the middle of the road. And its a damn small road. Well a shabby excuse for the road. May have been the birth child of a money hungry mongrel and corruption. The road was bad. So I absolutely slow down and go over the ditch and screeeecchhh I hear a shrill sound. Forward, backward the noise persists so I get down and inspect, theres a huge rock stuck right between my front tires.I panicked, didnt know what to do. How is it my fault that a stray rock dilapidates my car? Well I'm no virgin to car accidents, but this one? Are you kidding me? Good job Satan.So a passer by retireves the rock but theres a gaping hole. Now I'm a layman and technical terms are an oblivion to me, but the engine or maybe the break oil was leaking and I thought, just like a true bollywood fan the car would explode into flames. So I stop there. Stranded in the ominous slum area. The oil gushes out creating a big pool. I couldnt help but curse myself and wait for three hours for someone to rescue me. Since it was a tiny road, a towing truck couldnt fit in and It may have taken a week to extract the car and another 15 days for the repairs. How could an insignificant rock cause my life to plummet into poverty. Yes I don't mean any offense but I consider that bus the saddest poorest thing in my life. Yes of course other people too travel by it...ooh I'm such a spoilt brat for saying that, but that's just how frustrated I am, so I'm using this a channel to vent it out. I'm not used to luxury and neither is my life a bed of roses, but there are just some things. I had the comfort of my own car and drive by myself free of guilt that I don't make my driver work too hard and stay work as late as I liked,and occasionally enjoy my treats by meeting friends. Maybe once in two weeks. But all that has been snatched. I'm not allowed to drive any more. I need to wake up at 7 30 am, and walk. Walk to the sorry excuse that calls itself a bus stop where the bus driver wont even stop for me unless I  frantically wave my hands and he stops on the middle of the road and immediately starts the moment I get in. Like bro, I could slip and fall and injure myself. Oh i wish that happens, enough to stir up a dramatic emotional upheaval to melt my dad's heart. So it reaches my office at 8 50 pm and I'd have to walk another   500 meters to reach my work place. I could have just reached the place at 8 20 am If only I had my car. This ain't the end, it either starts at 5 30 pm, too early or 7 30pm, too late. So submissive to the mighty power of the engine that brews junk, I get in at 7 30. It slowly staggers to another block which is in the opposite direction to my place of arrival and thanks to the traffic, 45 mins later I reach the road I'm actually supposed to take. Then, Satan's crafted piece of torture reaches my place at 9 20 pm and again stops in the middle of the road admist running vehicles. I get lucky everyday not being hit. So I walk home and reach at 9 30 pm, I come home and look at 4 cars that belong to my dad, almost mocking me.
     So back in time when I was stranded in the slum, because my car was literally menstruating oil, it left a long murky trial on the road.There was a sordid 'chineeeese drogon' hotel. The ignorant workers were buring trash over there. A few inches from the oil trail. What if it caught fire? What if I blew up? Well, let me tell you. Id not have encountered the old scrap peice of metal junk with seats aged gracefully in fond memories of sweat, home to horde of bacteria and the rest I irk to think about.
  

Be a happy centric person! 24x7

Its Life man!! There are ups and downs. Pretty natural for one to have their very own fears, people treating you like crap and thoughts weighing you down. There are times when you just don't feel like smiling and there's a shit load of crappy thoughts that grapple that poor little mind of yours? Trust  me I'm a girl and it feels like there are a 1000 tabs open and all running at once. But, hey person reading this, you gotto remember its a passing cloud. Things wont be that way forever. Somewhere you gotto move on. One just has to focus one's energy and get over that ish. I guess this is something I'm writing for myself but keeping your thoughts engaged would hardly leave room for any negativity. That job you didn't get? That college that didn't take you in? Your crappy ex or  stalking a crush? Well these things wean away. Never dwell in the dark. Things happen for a reason and Karma may be a sultry seductress and a bitch at times but hey, variety is a way of life. Whats light without dark and how can one know happiness without sad. That dress you've been meaning to buy, that person you've wanted to talk to, that gym you have to work out at or maybe that trip you wanted to embark upon...now is the right time my friend! We are chided like cattle  to living our life as the society dictates us to. We go to school, attend college then get another degree, work earn spend and all for what? Survival? Well yes one has to survive but the ultimate goal is happiness. So why not make that a universal top most priority and live life in its best colors. Well I'm no wise guru and things are easier said than done but hey! We could at least try right? So make that your topmost priority. Be a happiness addict. Let that engulf you like a drug and surround yourself with the aura....the happiness aura. We should all just be  happiness centric people... 24x7! :) :)

Satire of a the drubk soul.

I feel dead right now.I am alive but its like there's a knot in my heart and everything just feels dead and bitter. Soo what's my fault? I was at this middle age, uber, sophistocated drinking party where everyone got really drunk and I apparently broke the social paradigm of drinking beer in the most rugged, un lady like wretched way possible. I held the bottle in my hand and drank it in the presence of an emminent guest. This may be socially wrong and I'm too stupid to have realised. Well logically at least I am justified.
1) beer is like 5% alcoholic and apparently Id be better off spoiling my liver in the most lady loke fashion of gracefully sugar coating it in a juice and having the concoction in a glass.
2 ) It's ok for a man to do it, but oops I'm born with two ovaries and not a pair of balls.
3) People got too drunk, they were adrenaline pumped and were boisterously merrying.I did no such thing.
But I'm a bitch coz I'm too stupid to more that I wasn't supposed to hold the beer bottle in my hand. Il pretend like I'm an imbecile for not having known that and let guilt eat me from within and promise to not even touch the forbidden fruit..........in front of other people.

lol i dont even know what I am doing at this point. I just randomly think that the internet is an attractive solution to all my problems, my biggest enemy and my fear: ME.I dont study even when i want to and need to. Just looks boring and procrastination just has its way with me. All that i want to do is watch movies n stuff on the net, spend pointless time on my phone, think is about junkt food and constantly thinking about how bad i look. My hair, my skin, my annoyingly front denteta. My room is a mess, just like my life. No goal, no direction. I feel miserable deep down but just continue loafing around and momentarily happy whne im with people. Till when will this continue? I think i need a psychiatrist. I dont even have a word for this diesease, oh wait... laziness i think. And whats worse, it aint even a disease in a book. Addictive like coke(not that ive tried it) and an infinite loop in an abysmal  quagmire where i am afraid of being stuck for the rest of my life. God, please save me, from ME.